Stand Up
by WritersNook
Summary: This story is based on a roleplay idea. Warning - contains domestic and verbal abuse, along with language. Takes place in 2012 universe, also in this story, Raph never had a pet turtle. Slash/Raph at first, but ends up with Casey/Raph.
1. The Beginning

AN: Warning – domestic and verbal abuse, emotional situations. Based on a roleplay.

IMPORTANT INFO AHEAD

This story is based in an AU, where Raph never had a pet turtle.

* * *

"Why can't you just listen?"

"Why can't you just mind your own business?!"

"I just want you to be safe!"

"Ugh!"

The arguing had been going on for hours, it seemed. Leo, Mikey, and Donnie were watching TV in the living room, trying to block out the sounds of Raph and Slash arguing. About half a year ago, they had found another mutant turtle in the sewer, being attacked by an alligator. After they rescued him, they took him back to the lair and patched him up. He had told them that his name was Slash, and he ended up staying with them.

Over that period of time that Slash healed, Raph and Slash got closer and closer, until they got together and formed a relationship. There were a few problems, however.

Slash liked to go out and crack some skulls, and while Raph was all for it, sometimes Slash took it too far. He would go out and not come back until a day or two later, turning Raph into a nervous wreck. Also, when Raph would go with him, Slash sometimes couldn't control himself and almost beat Raph unconscious at one time.

The arguing had started a month ago, and Raph's brothers' weren't liking what they heard and saw from Slash. Slash had a temper, and his brothers feared that Slash would lose it and hurt Raph. Master Splinter, Leo, Mikey, Donnie, and even April had tried to convince Raph to leave him, but Raph refused every time. Then when they met Casey, the arguing escalated, because apparently Slash was jealous. Casey knew that Raph had a boyfriend, but he didn't know how seemingly broken the relationship was.

They all jumped when they heard a smash. Leo jumped up.

"This needs to stop!" he said, running to Raph's room where the couple was arguing, Donnie and Mikey on his heels.

Leo flung the door open to see a smashed vase on the ground, Slash's fists were clenched, and he kept his eyes on Raph, glaring fiercely. Raph was glaring back, though Donnie noticed that he was shaking ever so slightly.

"Uh… Hey, guys! I was wondering, Raph, if you wanted to help me beat a level on a video game!" Mikey cut in, wanting to separate Raph and Slash immediately.

Raph glanced at Mikey, before nodding.

"Y-Yeah, man. Let's go." Raph said quietly, quickly putting space between Slash and himself.

Slash watched Raph's every move until he was gone with Mikey. Donnie and Leo stayed behind, glaring at Slash with their arms crossed.

"What?" Slash snapped.

"What happened here?" Leo asked.

"None of your business." Slash grunted.

Donnie narrowed his eyes. "It is our business if we think our brother is in danger." He said.

"Look, you saw him, he ain't injured." Was the reply.

"Some wounds don't show up on the skin." Donnie said, gripping his bo staff.

Slash looked exasperated. "Will you get off my case? He's fine!" he yelled.

Leo turned his head as he heard the game pause. Raph appeared moments later.

"Why was there yelling?" he asked.

"Raphael, tell your brothers that you're alright. Now!" Slash snapped, and Raph flinched.

"I-I'm fine, guys. Nothing happened." He said.

Leo put a hand on his shoulder. "Raph, you don't have to say that just because he tells yo-"

"Leo, shut up, okay? I'm fine!" Raph snapped, shrugging him off.

Leo looked hurt, then he sighed. "Okay. You know we're always here for you." He said, leaving with Donnie.

Raph watched them go, then jumped when he felt Slash's hands on his shoulders.

"Clean up that vase and this room." Slash hissed in Raph's ear, making his blood run cold.

"B-But, I was gonna patrol with the guys and Case-"

"Did I ask you what you _thought_ you were going to do?!" Slash snapped, and Raph lowered his head.

"…No, Slash. I'll get started." He said quietly, going to get the broom.

"Since you want to go so bad, I'll go for you so I can finally meet this 'Casey Jones' that you seem to talk about all the time." Slash snarled, and Raph picked up his pace.

As Raph went to the broom closet near the kitchen, he felt his brothers' eyes on him as they watched him walk past. He hated being treated that way, but he had no choice. Slash was huge, and he threatened his brothers and his sensei if Raph didn't obey. Raph was sure they could all take him, but he would never test out that theory. He only hoped that he wouldn't hurt Casey in any way.

Raph was sweeping when everyone was about to leave, and Slash smirked down at him.

"When you get done, you can come find us."

"Thank you, Slash." Raph replied quietly, head down.

He winced when Slash grabbed his chin and jerked it up. Raph was forced to stare into merciless and cold green eyes. Raph's jaw ached when Slash tightened his grip.

"I love you." Slash said, the words dead in Raph's mind.

"…I love you, too." Raph said, if only so Slash would let go of his jaw.

Slash noticed the hesitance. "Why did you hesitate?" He glared.

"N-No, I didn't!" Raph said, eyes wide.

"Are you calling me a liar?" he asked, approaching.

"No, Slash!" Raph said, backing up.

Slash paused, before turning and leaving the room to join the other brothers.

"We'll finish this later." He said.

Raph shook in anger and shame. He was ashamed he couldn't stand up for himself, and angry that he was being treated this way. With a longsuffering sigh, he kept cleaning.

Meanwhile, the brothers had just met up with Casey for patrolling.

"Whoa, who's he?" Casey asked, staring up at Slash with wide eyes.

"Casey, meet Slash, Raph's boyfriend." Leo said, not particularly happy that Slash was with them.

"Oh, so _you're _Slash!" Casey smiled, though it didn't reach eyes.

"Yeah, and you're Casey Jones, huh?" Slash asked, glaring down at him.

Mikey was nervous with the way Slash was glaring down at Casey, as if he was ready and willing to beat him into a bloody pulp. He knew Donnie and Leo felt it, because they started getting antsy.

Casey however, glared right back up at Slash. The brothers didn't know it, but Casey had eavesdropped on them when they thought he had gone home, and he knew how Slash treated Raph. So now that he was face to face with Slash, he felt nothing but anger and contempt.

It was obvious that this patrolling session was going to be interesting.


	2. Patrol and Reveal

The patrol was quiet and filled with tension. Where there were usually jokes and laughter, in its place was silence and a stifling aura that surrounded Casey and Slash. They exchanged heated glances every once in a while, not bothering to hide their dislike for each other. Everyone paused, however, when they heard someone call.

"Hey guys! Wait up!" Raph called, running after him.

"Raphael? What are you doing here?" he asked, and everyone heard the threatening undertone.

"I-I finished what I was doing, so I came to join you." Raph said, taking a small step back.

Slash didn't say anything, but there was this look in his eyes that sent a cold chill down Raph's carapace.

"Hey, Raph! Glad you could join us!" Casey said, throwing an arm around Raph's shoulder.

Raph smiled. "I'm glad I made it."

"Yeah, what kept you?" Casey asked curiously.

"I...uh...Had some chores to do." he said quietly, looking away.

Casey was suspicious of his behavior. "Are you okay" he asked.

Slash watched this exchange with jealously boiling in his gut. He wasn't happy that the puny human had his arm around Raph, and he was even more upset when he saw how happy Raph was.

Leo smiled as he watched Raph and Casey. It was obvious that they both cared for each other, and Leo suspected that Casey felt something for Raph that ran deeper than just friendship or brotherly love. He had talked to Donnie and Mikey about it, and they agreed wholeheartedly.

"Don't we have patrolling to do?" Slash asked sharply, and Raph jumped, pulling away from Casey.

"Oh, yeah. Sorry." He said quietly.

It was a quiet night, and there weren't many bad guys out. They did find some Purple Dragons on a rooftop, however. All was going normal, until…

"Guys? A little help here!" Raph yelled.

He was surrounded by 18 Purple Dragons, and they had him backed up against the edge of the roof. If Raph took one more step back, he would fall to his death.

Slash went to help, but was roughly knocked out of the way by Casey.

"Oops! Sorry, man!" Casey said, not meaning it in the least.

Slash growled as Casey saved Raph, burning with envy as they smiled at each other.

"Raphael, are you alright?" Slash asked, gripping his arm a bit too tightly.

Raph tried not to wince. "Yeah, I'm good." He said.

Donnie frowned as he watched. He saw Slash's tight grip on Raph, and he didn't like it He walked in between them, forcing Slash to let go.

"We should head back to the lair. It's starting to get late." Mikey said, his eyes narrowed at Slash.

Raph nodded. "Cool. See ya later, Case." He said.

Casey nodded, not saying anything. He saw Slash grab him, and it just looked so wrong. With one last glance at the group, he headed home.

"What did you think you were doing with him?!"

"Nothing, Slash! I wasn't doing anything, I swear!"

"Liar!"

Mikey winced as he heard another crashing sound like the one that morning. Slash had practically dragged Raph to their room, and they had been arguing ever since. He looked up and jumped as he saw Slash stomp out of the lair. The three brothers glanced at each other, before running to Raph's room.

Raph was on his knees, picking up his drum set. He had a defeated look on his face, head down.

"Raph…" Leo breathed, saddened to see his brother so sad.

Raph jumped a foot in the air, and when he looked at them, his eyes held nothing but fear.

"Raph, calm down! It's just us." Donnie said, holding his hands up in surrender.

Mikey walked over slowly and helped Raph lift the drum set.

"Dude, this is getting out of hand." Mikey said.

"Mikey, don't start." Raph said sharply.

"No, I'm starting this, man! He's scaring you, and that's not right! You don't have to-"

"Guys? Is this a bad time?" Casey interrupted. He had come to see if everything was okay, and obviously, it wasn't.

"Y-Yeah, everything's fine." Raph said.

Leo turned to look at him incredulously. "Fine? You call this fine?! Slash is treating you like dirt, Raphael!"

"What?!" Casey exclaimed, making Raph jump. "Raph, is this true?"

"N-No, it's not!" Raph stammered, standing up.

"Yes it is!" Donnie said.

"Shut up, Donatello! It's my fault, I made him angry." Raph hung his head. "I deserved it."

"Do you really believe that, or is that what _Slash _wants you to believe?" Casey asked, venom in his tone.

"…" Raph looked away.

"Raph, he's dangerous!" Leo said, crossing his arms.

"No, he isn't! He loves me!" Raph exclaimed.

"Yelling at you, breaking your stuff, and intimidating you isn't love!" Mikey said, narrowing his eyes. "Do you honestly believe you deserve to be treated that way?!"

"I…I-I…" Raph stuttered, looking down at the ground.

"Raphael! Where have you been?" Slash demanded, seeming to appear out of nowhere.

Raph jumped. "S-Slash, you're back early."

"I called you three times, Raphael. I needed you to bring me my weapon, and you didn't answer. What had you so occupied that you couldn't answer your damn phone?!" Slash snapped.

"Don't talk to him that way, you brute!" Donnie said, pushing himself in between Slash and Raph, the other brothers and Casey following suit.

"Move it or lose it, pipsqueak." Slash said, glaring down at Donnie.

"Make me." Donnie challenged, narrowing his eyes.

Raph got in between them. "Guys, stop! Donnie, don't threaten him, nothing's wrong!" he said desperately.

"Nothing's wrong? Are you kidding me, Raph!?" Donnie sputtered.

"No, I'm not! Leave me and Slash alone and get out!" Raph turned his gaze to Casey. "All of you."

There was a shocked silence, before slowly, one by one, everyone filed out. Casey was the last one to go.

"Raph, are you sure everything's okay?" he asked, his eyes pleading for Raph to tell the truth.

"Casey, I told you before. Everything's fine." He said.

Casey sighed, leaving. He retreated to the living room and sat on the couch, his mind racing.

Meanwhile, Donnie was in the lab, working on a way to get rid of Slash once and for all. He had been following Slash when he went out on his nightly runs, and what he found had completely surprised him. He watched as he uploaded the picture and video files to the computers. He didn't want to leave his computer unguarded in case Slash was suspicious, so he sent out a group text for Mikey, Leo, and Casey to come see what he had found.

"Okay Donnie, what is it?" Leo asked when they all had gathered.

"I found out something interesting on Slash." Donnie said, pulling up the files.

"Oh my- Is he doing what I think he is?!" Casey asked angrily, scooting closer to the screen.

"I think it is, dude." Mikey said, completely serious.

Slash was snatching innocent people and beating them, breaking their bodies. He was laughing at their screams of pain and ignoring pleas for their lives. He was killing people.


	3. Fearful Contemplation

AN: Thank you all for the wonderful reviews! This story will go on!

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The videos were terrifying. Slash didn't seem to care of the person was male or female, young or old. He picked people by random, and those people would be mangled and ripped apart. Slash wouldn't even bother to cover up what he had done, leaving the bodies in whatever alley he was in, before he left.

"He's going to die! I'm going to fucking kill him." Casey stood up angrily.

"Casey, now let's be rational-" Donnie started.

"Fuck rationality! Slash pretty much punted that girl across the street, Donatello! Also, I know, see, and hear how Slash is treating Raph, and I'm not fucking okay with it!" Casey ranted, and Leo forced him back into his chair.

"H-How did Raph even end up with him? Why does he let that happen?" Casey asked.

Donnie narrowed his eyes. "Raph probably didn't necessarily _let _it happen, Casey. Something must have happened between them..." It was quiet for a minute before Mikey spoke up.

"Wait a minute... Hey Don, do you remember the first time they argued?" he asked.

Donnie thought for a moment. "...Yeah, I do! I think Mikey night be on to something!"

"Well? What happened?" Casey spoke up.

There was silence. No one wanted to think about what had happened, but they knew that it wouldn't be fair to keep things from Casey when he was already deeply involved. In the end, it was Leo who told Casey what had happened.

"It was a while ago..." he started.

_Flashback_

_Raph and his brothers were hanging out, having just returned from patrol. Slash was waiting in their shared bedroom, and he didn't look happy. Raph, oblivious to his boyfriends' anger, smiled up at him when he got in the room._

_"Hey, Slash!" he said, grinning._

_The grin was wiped off of his face when Slash glared down at him with a look of pure evil._

_"S-Slash... Is everything okay?" He murmured, taking an unconscious step back._

_"No, Raph. Everything is not okay." Slash slowly stood up, "We need to talk."_

_End Flashback_

"...I heard them shouting for a long, long time, and then..." Leo took a breath to stay calm, "...I think Slash hit him. There was a loud smacking noise, then silence. We tried to get in the room, but the door was locked. When Raph finally opened the door, he seemed fine enough, and I couldn't get him to tell me what happened." he sighed.

"..." Casey hung his head, and he was silent. Then, to everyone's surprise, his shoulders started to shake. He was crying.

"Casey...?" Donnie asked, putting a hand on his shoulder.

"H-He doesn't deserve that, guys. Raph doesn't d-deserve to be t-treated that way." Casey said, struggling to keep his voice calm.

Donnie opened his mouth to reply, but Master Splinter walked in, ending their conversation, it seemed.

"My sons, allow me to be frank: I do not want Slash here any longer." Or maybe not.

"Sensei?" Leo questioned.

"Slash is bad for Raphael, he hurts him and intimidates him; tries to control him. With my hearing, I can hear almost everything that goes in between them, and it is never good." they all noticed that Master Splinter shuddered after saying that.

"What can we do, Sensei? Raph is completely loyal to that jerk!" Mikey exclaimed.

Master Splinter sighed. "I don't know, my sons. I do not know." He said softly.

* * *

AN; Okay, I'm not going to lie, this is a filler. I'm just really busy and I wanted to post something. I wanted to work more on this during Spring Break, but my mom scheduled for me to get braces that week so I might not be able to swing it. I'll try, though.


	4. Don't Let Them Know

It was late at night when Raph woke up. It had been a long night, and Slash had been drinking. He tried to slowly slip out of Slash's bone-crushing grasp, and his heart dropped into his stomach when he accidentally kicked him in the stomach.

"What are you doing?!" Slash growled, his voice low and angry.

"I-I'm sorry, I-I was trying t-to use the restroom." Raph replied, trying not to shake.

Slash growled again, but let Raph go. Raph scrambled to get to his feet, practically running from the room, but not before grabbing a small black bag. He went into the bathroom and closed the door, not locking it because he didn't think anyone would be awake. He hesitantly flipped on the light switch, before looking in the mirror after his eyes adjusted.

Raph wasn't wearing his mask, so he could clearly see the black eye that Slash had gave him, along with the split lip, the bruises along his neck and shoulders, and the hand print around his neck. Raph stared at himself for a long while, wondering if this was going to become a routine - then he realized that it was already a routine.

He reached into the bag he had grabbed and pulled out cleaning alcohol, cotton balls, and green Halloween makeup that April had bought for him. He frowned when he remembered how she reacted, how she had gotten angry enough to start cursing up a storm. He remembered how it had scared him because it reminded him so much of Slash, and he remembered how she promised to do anything she could to help him.

Raph started cleaning his wounds with the alcohol, hissing at the pain. He didn't want to get ice from the kitchen in fear of waking everyone up, so he just left his eye the way it was. When he got done, he slowly started applying the Halloween makeup over his wounds, almost screaming at how it burned. He was halfway done when the bathroom door opened. It was Mikey.

Raph stared, his mouth hanging open and his hand frozen in midair. Mikey's eyes widened as he took in Raph's beaten state, and before Raph could say anything, Mikey had run off, calling for their brothers. Raph broke out in a cold sweat, closing and locking the door. A few seconds later, there were three different knocks.

"Raphael, why is Michelangelo saying he saw you covered in bruises and putting on makeup?" Leo said, sounding concerned, not angry or disgusted like Raph had expected.

"Come on, Raph. Open the door." Donnie said gently.

There was silence, and Raph really wanted his brothers at that moment. He opened the door slowly, his head down as he waited for the laughter or disgusted words he was sure he was going to hear.

He didn't hear that. Instead, Leo set him down on the floor, while Mikey and Donnie both grabbed wet washcloths.

"Relax, Raph," Donnie said when Raph started to scoot away, "It's okay."

Raph forced himself not to move as they slowly wiped the makeup from his face, before Leo grabbed his hands and pulled him to his feet.

"We need to tell Master Splinter." Leo said, and Raph's eyes widened in fear.

"Wait, _what? _No Leonardo, please don't tell him!" Raph pleaded, grabbing his arm.

"Raph, this is getting out of hand! Slash is hurting you and I'm not going to sit around while this goes on. Guys, cover me." Lee said, pulling away from Raph.

Raph tried to follow him to stop him, but Mikey and Donnie forced him to sit down on the edge of the bathtub. Raph thought about calling for Slash, but then he remembered what had happened beforehand that brought him to this point, and he kept silent.

Leo returned with Master Splinter, who already looked worried, and when he saw Raph, he dropped to his knees in front of him. He gently cupped Raph's face in his hands, turning it from side to side, before he examined the bruises on his upper body. He saw red when he saw the hand print around Raph's neck.

"This is... unacceptable!" he yelled, jumping to his feet. "Slash is no longer allowed in this lair!" he yelled even louder.

"What's going on?" Slash asked from the doorway. The yelling had woken him up. "Did I hear my name?"

"Yes, you did." Master Splinter spat, his eyes blazing. "Look what you have done to my son!" he hissed, pointing at Raph, who was visibly shaking.

Slash's narrowed his eyes. The little shit had told on him. "Look, I know it looks bad, but it was just a little misunderstanding that got out of hand." he tried to defend.

"**_BULLSHIT!"_ **Donnie and Mikey yelled, standing up.

"You think we can't hear you when you're yelling at Raph?! We know you hurt him, and we know that this isn't the first time you've hit him, either!" Donnie said, getting in Slash's face.

"I know you better get out of my face before I move you myself, pipsqueak." Slash said, growling.

Mikey growled back. "Not to mention the fact that you've been kidnapping and _killing _innocent people for who knows how long!" he spat.

"What? Slash, is this true?" Raph asked, standing up.

"Raphael, don't start with me. We can talk about it later." Slash said with a dismissive tone.

"No, we're going to talk about this n-now! You've been killing innocent people?!" Raph snapped, and there seemed to e a spark of his old self again.

"Who do you think you are? You better bet back in line before I put you in line!" Slash threatened.

Raph glared for a moment, but to everyone's surprise and dismay, he dropped that spark went out and he sat back down in shame.

"I WANT YOU OUT! NOW!" Master Splinter yelled, glaring.

Slash huffed but stomped out. "Raphael, come." he said, and Raph followed, dragging his feet.

"Now hold on, Raph isn't going anywhere!" Leo said sternly, placing himself between Slash and Raph.

"Either Raph comes with me, or I'm not going." Slash said with a smug tone, making Leo grit his teeth. "Which will it be?"

There was a long moment of silence, the hatred thick in the air.

"That's what I thought. Now, _we're _going to bed." Slash said pointedly, and they were all helpless to watch as Slash dragged Raph to the bedroom.

Leo let out a scream of frustration, throwing his katanas on the ground. Donnie hid his face in his hands, and Mikey started crying.

Master Splinter held back his tears, though his heart was aching.

_Oh Tang Shen, please watch over my son._


	5. Psycho

The next morning after the fiasco, no one said a word. Leo stayed up all night worrying in his room, Donnie locked himself away in his lab, and Mikey stuck to Master Splinter like glue, his presence comforting for the upset turtle. Raph came out of his room when everyone else was eating at the table. He limped in, and it was obvious that more bruises had been added to his already battered form.

"Hey, Raph! I made your favorite, strawberry pancakes!" Mikey said, trying to act normal and happy, as if nothing had happened the night before.

Raph tried to smile, but it didn't turn out right. "Thanks, man. I'm not really hungry though." he replied, and Leo clenched his fork tighter.

Mikey's smile faded slightly. "A-Are you sure, man? You haven't been eating much lately, so I was just-"

"He said he's fine." Slash said menacingly, pushing past Raph to get to the coffee pot.

Tensions started to rise in the kitchen, even after Slash had left with his coffee and a plate of pancakes that nobody thought he deserved. Raph sat down across from Leo, his eyes downcast. He looked exhausted, and he had lost weight. Leo finally snapped, slamming his fork on the table.

"You shouldn't have to go through this, Raphael!" he yelled, making everyone jump.

"Leo, calm down-", Donnie tried to say, but Leo wasn't having it.

"No! I am **_sick and tired_ **of seeing my brother starving, bruised, and broken because of some giant asshole!" he screamed.

Mikey grabbed Leo's arm. "Dude, _stop._" he said, pointedly, pointing at Raph.

Raph was curled up in the corner of the kitchen, shaking. He stared at Leo with fear in his eyes, and Leo immediately calmed down.

"Raph, I'm sorry," he said, crouching next to him, "I just don't want to see you hurt anymore." he said softly.

Raph shook his head. "I deserve it. I'm not good enough. I never will be." he said quietly, looking down.

Leo opened his mouth to say something, but Master Splinter stopped him. "Raphael, come with me." he said, leading Raph from the kitchen to the dojo.

Raph shuffled behind him timidly, and he seemed afraid when Master Splinter had him sit next to him.

"My son, tell me, what do you feel when you are with Slash?" he asked, spitting the name out like it was poison.

"S-Sometimes, he makes me feel loved and happy. He treats me okay and tells me he loves me, but t-the way he says it...like he doesn't r-really mean it, like h-h-he's laughing at me..." Raph said, starting to cry as he talked.

Master Splinter waited for Raph to relax, hugging him.

"B-But sometimes...he gets mad. He hits me and tells me that I d-deserve it, and he gets mad when I hesitate to tell him that I still love him."

"Do you still love him, Raphael?" Master Splinter asked.

Raph was silent for a while, his tears soaking into his fathers' kimono.

"N-No...I love who he used to be." Raph said quietly, before he broke down into full blown sobs.

Outside the dojo, Slash listened with a dark frown. "So he doesn't love me. Fine, I can change that. I'll just have to take him away from all the distractions." he said with an evil chuckle.

Raph stayed in the dojo all day with Master Splinter, and he told Master Splinter everything that Slash had done. How he had threatened him, how Raph wanted to protect his brothers, the first and most recent time Slash had hit him, along with everything in between. Raph stumbled out of the dojo during dinner, and Master Splinter made him eat.

Once he had started, Raph looked around in case Slash was anywhere in sight, and he started stuffing his face.

"Raph, slow down! You'll choke!" Donnie teased, only to frown when Raph flinched at the word 'choke'.

Raph kept eating, a bit slower this time, and Donnie felt guilt at saying that word.

The real problem came at night, when Raph went to his room to get some sleep. Slash was usually gone at this time, so he was hoping to get a few hours of sleep before he came back. Right when he had closed the door, he was shoved against the wall, something covering his mouth. Raph tried to scream in panic, and his limbs flailed as he tried to shove his attacker away.

Raph's blood ran cold when he heard Slash's familiar evil chuckle, and he cried out when Slash delivered a harsh blow to his head, blood soaking into his mask. Slash smirked and dealt another punch to Raph's stomach, knocking the air out of him. Raph slid down the wall and tried to get up as Slash approached him.

Leo looked up from his spot on the sofa, and ran to Raph room, pounding on the door. He was thrown back when Slash burst through the door with a weakly struggling and bleeding Raph thrown over his shoulder.

"Raph!" Leo exclaimed, narrowing his eyes at Slash. "Let him go!"

Slash scoffed. "I don't think so. Raph needed to learn that I am the only one he is allowed to love, even if I have to pound it into him."

Leo was disgusted by the heartless bastard in front of him. Before he could say anything, another voice spoke up.

"No way in hell." Donnie spat, standing behind Leo with his weapon drawn. Mikey was standing across from him, glaring hatred at Slash.

Slash scoffed. "Please. You think I'm afraid of three pathetic turtles?"

"You forgetting someone, you disgusting monster?" Casey spat, stepping out from around the corner, April behind him.

"Slash, put him down. Now." Leo said.

Slash looked bored. "Not gonna happen. But you know what, I'll humor you." he threw Raph down roughly on the ground behind him, before drawing his mace.

They spent a few moments staring at each other, before Slash let out a bloodcurdling roar and charged.

Leo yelled out and charged, slashing at him. He wasn't holding back; he didn't see a reason to. Leo ducked and Donnie leaped over him, whacking Slash in the head with his staff. Slash growled and grabbed it, lifting it up with Donnie still on it. He slammed Donnie against the wall twice, and was going for a third time until April cut his arm with her tessen, causing him to bleed heavily.

"Stupid whore!" he snapped, dropping Donnie to go after her.

Mikey was sneaking past all of this to get to Raph. As much as he wanted to beat Slash to a pulp, he needed to get his brother out of danger first and foremost. He had just hoisted Raph to his feet when a shadow loomed over him. Mikey gulped as Slash loomed over them.

"Hey, psycho!" came a voice behind him.

Slash turned, only to be blinded by a yellow can of spray paint exploding in his eyes. He let out a roar of anger and pain, and when he finally cleared his vision, he was alone. He tried to leave, to look for what he thought had been stolen from him, only to find that he couldn't pick up a hint of anything. That didn't deter him, however; he would retrieve Raph, no matter what.


	6. Bruised And Broken

Raph groaned as he felt himself being dragged along. He was trying to clear the haze in his mind so that he could open his eyes and at least see who was dragging him. He really hoped it wasn't Slash. All he remembered was Slash bursting out of his room, then Mikey seemingly coming out of nowhere to help him up. Fast forward to now, he didn't know what was going on. He tried to open his mouth, to say something, but all that came out was a mumbled gurgle.

"We got ya, buddy." he heard Donnie's voice, and he instantly relaxed. If he was with his brothers he knew he was safe.

"S...Sla..." he tried to say, but a sudden sharp pain in his jaw made him stop.

"Shh, don't talk. Your jaw is very badly bruised, nearly broken." Donnie said gently, and Raph wasn't even surprised.

Since Raph now knew he was safe, he relaxed and fell back to sleep, his body trying to recover.

They had taken him to the sewers, and Donnie had patched him up the best he could with what supplies he had. Before Slash had came, none of them ever could have believed it if they were told that Raph was being treated this way. It just seemed so surreal. Donnie wasn't sure how to react. He wanted to scream and shout, but he had to stay calm and make sure that Raph healed okay. His family was his first priority.

Deep down, Leo still quietly hoped that this was all a bad dream, that he would wake up soon and Raph would be uninjured and as fiery as ever. He hoped that he would wake up to no Slash, no pain, and no constant fear for his brothers' life. He wished he could have protected his little brother.

Mikey hadn't said a word since they had escaped with Raph. He didn't have any jokes, and riddles, anything funny to say. He just needed to know that his boneheaded brother was okay, that he would heal and get better and tell Slash to hit the road. Mikey needed normality. He needed their old, simple life. He needed his big brother back.

April was in shock. She had known about Raph's situation, but she didn't know it had gotten this bad. She had been planning to talk to his brothers when he borrowed the makeup, but Raph had begged and pleaded with her not to tell. It crushed her to see him literally get on his knees and beg, as if he was worthy of nothing more than that. She had calmed him down, made him some tea, then sent him home with the coverage he needed. She only wished she had done more.

Casey was the worst, fuming as he helped carry Raph. He stared down at Raph's bruised and still slightly bloody face with a hardened glare, and he seemed to radiate anger and hatred. He was just so **pissed** that someone did this to him! No one deserved that, especially not Raph! If he could, he'd go back and really show Slash what for, but Donnie told him that it was probably not the best idea.

"I know you're upset, trust me I do. But running after Slash will only cause more trouble." Donnie had told him, and Casey had been furious, though he had stayed.

Raph groaned and sat up slowly, hours later. He had been asleep for who knows how long, and he was bruised and battered. He had a headache, and nearly his whole body was bandaged or covered in some way.

"Shit!" he swore as he tried to stand up and put pressure on his left foot. It was swollen and he could barely move it without gritting his teeth.

"Guys, guys, he's awake!" Donnie yelled form behind him. Raph jumped and turned painfully to see his family running toward him in a hurry.

"Don't get up, Raph. You're bruised pretty bad." Leo helped Raph sit back down.

"Damn, what happened? I remember Slash hitting me in the head..." Raph trailed off, looking up helplessly at his family confusedly.

"..." No one knew quite what to say, and none of them particularly wanted to talk about it. But Raph deserved an answer, so he would get one from somebody.

"That bastard tried to kidnap you." Casey spat.

"He knocked you out and tried to leave. But we weren't going to let him take our brother," Donnie said, resting a hand on his shoulder.

"Thanks, guys." Raph smiled.

* * *

Sorry this is so short and the wait was so long! I've been sick for a couple of weeks, and I was trying to rewrite some of the previous chapters but I logged in to my account and some of the chapters were missing and I just decided to post this instead.

I wanted you all to know that chapters 2, 3, and 4 have been changed a bit. I'll put what I changed in this small note so references later in the story won't be confusing.

-Slash didn't cheat on Raph.(That idea's stupid, now that I look back on it)

-Instead, Slash has been ruthlessly murdering innocent people

-I pretty much just changed all that cheating bullshit to murder

I promise the next chapter won't take so long


	7. BRB

Hey guys I know it's been a while. I promise new chapters are coming soon, but I have been so busy with school and I was sick all summer. I had surgery, pancreatitis, and I got diagnosed with an auto immune disease. I have to have a biopsy on Wednesday. I may be able to update on the weekend, but I will be updating during Thanksgiving break and Christmas break. Thank you so much for all the love on this story!


	8. Pick Up The Pieces

The next day, the turtles, April, and Casey headed back to the lair. They didn't really have a choice, since Donnie had to dress Raph's wounds and the medical supplies he needed was still in the lair. When they got to the entrance, Leo scanned the lair with narrowed eyes.

"I don't sense him." April said, looking around suspiciously.

"Good. Because then it would have been all bad for him." Casey said darkly. He was still steaming over the fight.

"Where's Master Splinter?" Mikey asked, and no one had an answer.

"I'm sure he's fine." Leo reassured.

Donnie went to get his supplies, as well as some other stuff they might need. It was obvious that even though Slash wasn't there anymore, he had been recently. The living room was a mess, the couch split in half, and the TV screen was smashed. There were slight cracks on some parts of the wall where Slash's mallet, or even his fist, had hit them. Luckily, Timothy was still frozen in Donnie's lab, but all of his previously organized papers and charts were destroyed. The boys' rooms and the kitchen weren't any better.

"We're gonna have to stay in the sewers for a while until we can find somewhere to go." Donnie said a feeling of melancholy settling over the group.

Donnie sat down next to Raph. "I have to check your foot. It might hurt, but try not to say anything. Your jaw is still bruised." He advised.

Raph nodded. Sure enough, the minute Donnie poked his foot, he cried out. "Shit!"

"Sorry! It's still swollen, but as long as you don't try to d anything stupid, you should be fine." Donnie said, about to wrap the foot in bandages.

"Whoa! Absolutely not!" Raph scooted away, eyes wide.

"C'mon, Raph! I have to make sure you heal properly." Donnie said.

"I'll be fine, but there is no way in hell that you're coming near me with those bandages!" 

Donnie opened his mouth to protest, but he stopped when Mikey cleared his throat.

"He'll be fine, Don! Raph's tough, he can handle it." He sounded serious, older, completely unlike the goofy Mikey that they had before Slash entered their lives.

"My sons, are you there?" a voice called.

"Master Splinter! What happened to you?" Leo asked as the master entered the room.

"Do not worry about me, I am fine." He turned to Raph. "Raphael, are you alright?"

"Yes, sensei." Raph replied.

"Have you seen any sign of Slash?" he asked.

"No, and for his sake, I hope we don't. He has a lot of stuff coming to him, the bastard." Casey snarled.

Now came the hard part. Finding somewhere to sleep.


	9. Missing

The group decided to split up to cover more ground. Casey, Leo, and Raph went left, while Donnie, April Master Splinter, and Mikey went right.

"What if we run into Slash?" Mikey whimpered.

"Master Splinter would take Slash down without a second thought." Donnie said.

Master Splinter nodded. "We all would 'take him down', my son."

"So Raph, how are you holding up?" Leo asked gently.

Raph just grunted. He was glaring at the ground, his face dark and reflecting the horrible thoughts coursing through his mind.

"Hey, I think I see something!" Casey pointed ahead. There was a large hole in the ground, and when they looked down, there was a large nook that could seemingly fit all of them.

"Looks like we found a place. Casey, you check it out and see if it's safe. I'll call the others. Raph, you should probably sit this one out." Leo advised.

Raph bristled. "Why should I sit out? I can manage just fine!" he argued.

Leo sighed. "Raph, you're injured. It's probably best for you not to do anything that could make your condition any worse, and I'm sure Donnie would agree."

"Fuck what both of you say! I ain't sitting out!" Raph growled.

"Raph, you should listen to Leo. If you get hurt or something down here, it will only take longer for you to heal." Casey chimed in, though he knew it was a lost cause. Raph would do what he wanted to do, no matter the damage to himself.

Surprisingly, the opposite happened. Raph glared at Casey for a moment, then sighed and sat down on the side of the hole. Leo and Casey exchanged a surprised glance, then shrugged it off. Leo called Donnie, and in a matter of a few moments, the whole group was gathering around the hole.

"It looks pretty safe, but be careful coming down!" Casey called.

Leo went down, then everyone else, Raph last. Casey grabbed Raph's hand and helped him steady himself, wrapping an arm around his waist.

"Careful." Casey said, as Raph settled on his feet.

"Shove off, I can walk." Raph snapped.

Raph limped away from him and sat down on a partially clear patch of ground, while the other started clearing debris and other stuff so they could sleep. They all picked a designated area to sleep, and Donnie tried to check Raph's wounds again.

"Well, your foot is looking better, but like I said before, don't push it. Will you let me wrap it now?" Donnie asked. Raph grunted, which he took as a yes.

"Try not to move." Donnie cautioned, wrapping the bandages around his ankles. Raph bit his lip against the pain, and when Donnie was done, he forced himself to stand and limp stiffly over to the corner to try and get some sleep.

Casey woke up in the middle of the night. Something didn't feel right. He looked around the small space to check on everyone. He saw Leo, Donnie, Mikey, April, and Master Splinter. Someone was missing… Raphael!

"Guys, wake up! I can't find Raph!" Casey exclaimed.

"Wait, what?! What do you mean you can't find him?" Leo cried, starting to panic.

"We must find him before he hurts himself even more." Master Splinter said urgently.

"Raph! Raphael!" The search began.

They searched for hours and hours, but they couldn't find anything.

"Guys, come here!" April's voice cried.

"Did you find him?" Donnie asked worriedly, but April only shook her head.

"I found… this."

In her hand, was Raph's red mask.


	10. Trapped

Raph didn't know what had happened. He wad woken up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom, and even though he could barely stand, let alone walk, he managed to climb out of the hole they had found earlier and find a small place a short ways away to do his business. After he had finished, he had been about to head back to the others, when he heard it.

A familiar, sinister chuckle.

"I've been looking for you, Raphael." Slash stepped out of the shadows, malice rolling off of him in waves.

"Slash!" Raph gasped, backing up. He moved to fast and lost his footing, his ankle screaming in protest.

"You don't look happy to see me, Raph. That's okay, soon you won't need anyone but me." Slash approached the injured turtle.

"N-No! Stay away from me!" Raph exclaimed, struggling to his feet and scooting away.

Slash frowned. "What have I told you about telling me 'no'? You've been misbehaving, Raph, and I intend to correct your behavior."

Raph didn't have a chance. Slash grabbed him by the leg and covered his mouth with one of his giant hands. Raph was still too weak to fight back properly against Slash, and he knew it. That didn't stop him from trying, however. her twisted and turned, lashing out every chance he got, until Slash got annoyed with him.

"You might as well stop squirming," Slash growled in Raph's ear. "Because you're not going anywhere."

Raph screamed in frustration, but it was still muffled. It took a few seconds for Raph to realize that he couldn't breathe because of Slash's hand covering his face. He started to panic, flailing his arms and swinging his legs. His vision grew fuzzy, and the last thing he saw before he went unconscious was Slash's evil grin.

_'Am I going to die?' _

When Raph came to, he didn't know what to think. He realized he couldn't move his arms or legs because they were tied up with thick, coarse, rope. He started to hyperventilate, looking around wildly for some way to escape.

"It's about time you woke up." Slash said, standing up from the darkened corner where he had been sitting.

"Let me go, you bastard!" Raph spat, trying not to shake.

Slash narrowed his eyes, and Raph only had time to tense up and close his eyes before pain exploded behind his eyelids as Slash punched him in the stomach. Raph opened his mouth to scream, but he couldn't make any noise because he couldn't get any _air._

"You're gonna have to learn how to behave," Slash smirked. "I'm going to have fun training you, again."

* * *

_Okkayy. So, I know this is short as hell, but I have a lot going on and I don't know when I'll be able to post again. Happy Thanksgiving to all, and hopefully I'll be able to post the next chapter soon.  
_


	11. Found Again

_Okay, so it's been awhile! I hope that you all have a great holiday!_

* * *

_"Merry Christmas, Sensei!"_

_The boys all gathered around Splinter, holding handmade gifts of their own._

_"My sons, are those for me?" he asked, smiling at the four young turtles that seemed to never stop surprising him._

_"Of course! When we heard about the holiday, we had to do something!" Leo smiled._

_Mikey gave his present first. It was a crude drawing of the family, with the words 'Merry Christmas' scribbled in orange crayon._

_"Michelangelo, did you make this yourself?" Splinter asked, receiving a shy nod._

_Donnie was next. He had found an old microwave in the sewer and had fixed it up._

_"It's supposed to help you heat up the water for your tea quicker." he mumbled, twisting his purple blanket in his small fists._

_Then it was Leo's turn. He gave Master Splinter a wrinkled piece of paper that said, '_私はあなたがとても大好きです' _Master Splinter felt pride well up ion his chest as he saw his sons shaky writing._

_"Thank you, Leonardo." he smiled, watching the child beam._

_"Raphie, what did you get sensei?" Mikey asked, turning to look at his brother. But instead of the small, bright-eyed tot he was expecting to see, in his place was a much older, much sadder Raphael covered in bruises. He was crying._

_"Why did you let him take me Mikey?" Raph whimpered. "I thought we were family."  
"B-But we are family, Raphie!" Mikey cried._

_"Then why haven't you saved me yet! I thought we were supposed to protect each other!" Raph screamed._

_"I THOUGHT YOU WERE MY FAMILY!"_

Mikey woke up with a scream that echoed off of the walls of the sewer. Instantly, Master Splinter was at his side, hugging him close and rocking him as he sobbed, gibberish mixing with anguished cries.

"What happened?" Casey shot up, looking around.

"I think he had a nightmare." Leo said back.

"Mikey, what was it about? It's okay, you can tell us." Donnie said in a soothing voice.

"W-We were giving M-Master Splinter Christmas presents, and R-Raph was..." Mikey couldn't go on, collapsing into heart wrenching sobs again.

Leo and April both tried to comfort him. They rubbed his back, they hugged him, they tried to talk to him, but he couldn't stop crying.

"This will be our first Christmas without Raph." Donnie said sadly.

"No, it won't be. Because we're gonna find him, and we're gonna all have Christmas together. As a family." Casey said, standing. He grabbed his hockey mask and weapons. "I'm gonna get my best friend back."

"But where are you going to look? We already searched the whole sewer." April pointed out.

"Actually, there's one place we didn't look." Donnie said.

"Really? Where?" Leo asked.

"The place that started this all. The place where Raph first found Slash." An ominous silence settled over the group, and Casey was the one to break it.

"Alright, now we know where to look. Let's get Raph back." he said with a determined grin.

Spurred on by Casey's drive, the rest of the group pulled themselves together. Mikey wiped his face and clenched Raph's bandanna in his hand. No matter what, they were going to find Raphael. No matter what.

* * *

"Wake up, Raphael. I have something for you."

Raph's eyes cracked open as he tried to peer through the darkness. He was so hungry, he hadn't eaten in...he didn't know how long. He thought it may have been at least two days. His throat was dry and his voice came out raspy from screaming and lack of water.

"W-What do you want?" Raph wheezed.

"Since you'll be spending Christmas with me, I decided to be nice and get you something." Slash replied. He placed a water bottle up to Raph's lips, smirking smugly as he drank eagerly.

"See, Raphael? When you do as I say, you can be rewarded." Slash said.

There was a click, and suddenly Raph's view was full of light. Raph blinked rapidly as his eyes tried to adjust. When they finally did, he saw that Slash was holding a flashlight.

"Do you recognize where you are?" Slash asked.

Raph gazed around the area for a moment, then it clicked.

"This is...where I first found you..." he whispered.

"That's right. Don't you remember, Raphael? How you helped me back to your lair and helped me get better? We could be there right now, Raph. You and me. But no, you had to go and fuck it up." Slash growled.

Raph was quiet for a moment, then he mumbled something.

"If you have something to say, speak up!" Slash barked.

With a tremendous effort, Raph lifted his head enough the glare at the large mutant in front of him.

"I said, I should have left you to die."

With a roar of anger, Slash drove his fist into Raph's stomach. Raph let out a scream, long and loud, echoing ominously. He kept screaming, even when his lungs began to burn.

* * *

"Stop! Did you hear that?" Master Splinter said, pausing.

"Hear what, Sensei?" Donnie asked, but his question was soon answered as the sound echoed again. It was Raph's voice, all right. And he was screaming.

"Come on, this way!" Casey said, running toward the sound.

The closer they got, the more the group worried. What condition was Raph? What had caused him to scream? Was Slash going to _kill _him?  
"Yeah, keep screaming! No one's going to hear you!" they heard Slash's voice.

"Wrong! We hear him!" Casey shouted as he whacked Slash on the back of the head, making him drop the flashlight. It turned off, and the space was left in pitch darkness.

There were fighting sounds, and Raph was scared to death. He was able to catch small glimpses of Casey's mask or the glint of Leo's katana, but other than that he saw nothing. He heard Slash roaring, he heard crashes and bangs, and all he could do was pray that his family was alright.

Then, there was a single roar, louder than the others, that started to fade, as if Slash was falling a long distance. The flashlight clicked back on, and Raph saw to his relief, that everyone was alive. A bit battered, but alive.

"W-Where's Slash?" he croaked.

Donnie pointed the flashlight toward a giant hole in the ground where Slash had fallen. "Down there somewhere." he smirked.

Master Splinter untied Raph and crouched next to him, staring at the fragile body in his arms. He couldn't help but feel intense hatred for Slash as he cradled his injured son in his arms. He vowed at that moment that if that monster ever came back and tried to harm any of him family members, he would kill him.


	12. Rebuild

Raph was way too exhausted to walk back to their little hiding spot, and Master Splinter took on the task of carrying him. There was none of the excitement or happiness that might have been expected after they found their hot headed brother. There were only somber moods and silence. Raph drifted off from exhaustion as soon in less than a few minutes.

Raph was laid on the most comfortable spot they could find, and he didn't stir.

"We need to find food and water soon," Leo said, "We all need it."

"Casey and I can go topside and get some food." April offered.

"Are you sure that's a good idea? Slash may have fallen, but that doesn't necessarily mean he's down for the count." Donnie pointed out.

"We'll be careful and quick." She promised.

Casey and April set off to get the supplies they needed, and Donnie started on the most likely difficult task of examining Raph's injuries.

"His arm is broken, and his ribs are bruised. His jaw seems to have been dislocated, then forcefully shoved back into place." Donnie said quietly, noting the bitter silence around him.

"Donnie, what are we going to do?" Mikey whispered, gazing sadly at his broken brother.

"I'll tell you what we're going to do," Leo cut in, "We're going to find a new home, start over, and all of us, including Raph, will be fine. Right, Master Splinter?" Leo looked to their sense for support, pleading silently with his eyes for some sort of validation.

"Yes, my son. We may have been knocked down, but we will rise up again, stronger than ever."

* * *

Above ground, April and Casey had managed to find a small grocery store with hardly anyone in it. The last thing they needed was someone asking questions.

"Do you think Slash is really dead?" April asked quietly.

"I don't know, Red. If he isn't, I hope he's smart enough to stay away from Raph." Casey replied.

April gave a small smile. "You really care about Raph, don't you?"

Casey raised an eyebrow, looking over his shoulder at her. "Uh... yeah? He's my best friend."

She shot him a look. "Casey, you know that's not what I mean."

Casey turned towards her abruptly. "Look, April. Even if I do feel something for him, the last thing he needs is for me to bring it to his attention. For fuck's sake, we just got him back! He needs time to heal, and I'm not going to be the one to put more stress on him."

April blinked at him. She didn't know what she had been expecting, but it wasn't that. The rest of the shopping was done in silence, and they paid for their supplies and headed back to everyone.

While they were walking back, April decided to try and broach the subject again.

"Casey, I didn't mean to make you upset back there..." She said quietly.

Casey was silent for a moment, before he shrugged. "It's okay, April. I mean you're right, I do care about him. A lot. I just want to give him time, you know? I want to wait until he is stable before I try anything."

April nodded. "I understand. Don't worry, I won't say anything." She promised.

He smirked. "Thanks, Red."

* * *

When they got back, Donnie used the bandages they got to wrap Raph's injuries the best he could. Raph apparently hadn't stirred since they left, but he was breathing, and that's all that mattered.

"Hey, we got Raph back for Christmas." Mikey said quietly, and he got weak smiles in return for his attempt at lightening the mood.

"You're right, Mikey. When Raph wakes up, we'll make sure that we do something to celebrate, no matter what." Leo assured.

At that moment, as if roused by the mention of his name, Raph began to stir. He groaned, his eyes slowly starting to open. "...Guys?"

"He's waking up!" April said, and he was immediately surrounded by his family.

"Raphael, my son. I am glad to see you awake." Master Splinter said, his eyes filled with relief.

"We're here, Raph." Donnie said, resting a hand on Raph's good shoulder.

The bruised turtle managed a weak smile as he took in his family surrounding him. His eyes landed on Casey and stayed there.

"Casey." he said, the name coming out like a sigh of relief.

Casey steppe forward to sit by Raph's side. "Hey, man. You gave us a scare." he said, chuckling slightly. He didn't notice he was crying until Raph frowned at him.

"What's wrong?" Casey asked.

"You're crying." Raph said, reaching up with his good hand and brushing some tears from the boy's face. "Cheer up, Jones. I'm going to be just fine." Rap gave a cocky smirk that was so familiar yet so foreign that Casey cried harder.

April gently grabbed Casey's shoulder and pulled him away. "Casey, are you alright?' she asked when they were out of earshot.

Casey took a moment to calm himself down, waiting for the water works to completely subside before he answered her."Yeah, I'm okay. The real question her is: Will Raph be?" he asked, looking back towards the injured turtle who was now sitting up and eating some cold soup that Donnie was feeding him, smiling slightly as Raph protested to being fed.

"He'll be fine, Casey. Donnie said his injures will heal up fine." April said.

Casey shook his head. "That's not what I mean, April. Raphael may heal soon enough with time, but will his heart and mind heal as easily?" he asked, his eyes softening as Raph looked up and caught his gaze, smiling at him. He turned back to face April.

"What Slash did to him was beyond physical abuse. Raph may not be showing it now, but he's hurting. And God knows that the heart and mind are a lot harder to heal than the body."

April was silent, stunned into silence at the young boy's mature words.

"You can bandage the damage, but you can never really fix a heart." Casey said quietly.

* * *

Think of this as a New Years' Eve present! As a special gift, I will also be posting a second chapter to my other TMNT fanfic, "The Serum," so if any of my readers like that story, look out for that!


	13. Tension Rising

The next week passed in relative calmness. The small group started to clear out some debris so that they had more room. Raphael was slowly regaining his strength. Everyone was doing their part to make sure that he didn't try to over exert himself. In the back of their heads, they knew that the little nook they had found wouldn't be permanent. Eventually, they would have to return to their old lair and try to fix the damage Slash caused. Master Splinter called a meeting with the group when Raph was asleep, doing as Donnie told him for once.

"We will have to return to our old home soon." he said.

Mikey looked worried. "But Master Splinter, what if Slash is there?"

"He fell down that giant hole, Mikey." Leo frowned.

"Actually, Mikey has a point. Just because Slash fell down that hole doesn't mean he's necessarily down for the count." Donnie said, his brows creasing.

"We'll be ready for him if he's stupid enough to come back." Casey said determinedly.

Master Splinter nodded. "When Raphael is healed, we will go back."

Before more could be said, a scream erupted from around the corner, where the group had gone so they wouldn't be heard. Raph was still sleeping, but he was thrashing and kicking, fighting an invisible enemy.

* * *

Raph couldn't breathe. He felt like he was underwater and the surface was miles away. His lungs were squeezing tightly, and all he heard was laughter. Evil cruel laughter that made his stomach twist as if he was going to throw up. He tried to move, to bat away the sound, but he was frozen. The laughter grew louder and louder, more frenzied the more he tried to push it out of his senses. He tried to see who was causing such a terrible sound, but he couldn't see two inches in front of him. The darkness was suffocating, and Raph shook with panic.

"Leave me alone!" He screamed.

"I can't do that, Raphael. I may not be with you physically, but I'll always be with you. In your mind. In your heart. I'll always be here to put you in your place." the voice cackled.

Pain exploded behind Raph's eyelids. He howled, begging for it to stop. Right when he thought it would never end, a faint, kinder voice reached him.

"Raph, wake up!"

'Wake up?' Raph thought, 'There's no way in hell I can be asleep!'

Still, he wanted to listen to the voice. The more he concentrated on it, the louder it got, and the other menacing voice seemed to fade. The more the voice faded, the less pain Raph felt.

* * *

Raph's eyes snapped open, and he sat up with a loud gasp. He looked around frantically. As he took in the images of his family surrounding him, he realized that he had been dreaming. He was safe. He was okay. That didn't stop the tears, though. He pulled his knees to his chest and sobbed, shaking violently.

Master Splinter wrapped his arms around his son, stroking his carapace as he clutched his robe like he used to when he was younger.

"Raph, what happened?" April asked, but the turtle only shook his head and buried his head deeper into Master Splinter's robe. The young kunoichi's mind went back to the conversation she had with Casey a week ago. Now she understand what the boy had meant. Physically, the turtle teenager was healing fine. Mentally, however, there was still much healing to be done.

She only hoped they could help him. And that he would be strong enough to help himself. The family could support him all they wanted, but that's all they were. Support. The pace of Raph's mental and emotional healing was entirely up to him. He had to want to get better for it to actually happen. What ultimately needed was a giant dose of self-worth.

All she could do was pray he got it.

* * *

"What do you think Raph's nightmare was about?" Mikey asked. He had a pretty good idea, but he desperately didn't want to believe it.

A pained look crossed Leo's face, but he said nothing.

"Who's going to tell him that we're going back to the old lair?" Donnie asked.

More silence. No one wanted to see the fragile turtle's reaction when he found out that they were returning to the home of his nightmares.

"I'll do it." April spoke up.

"Are you sure, April? Raph might have a volatile reaction." Donnie warned.

"I know. I don't care. He needs to know and if he does freak, I'll be there for him." she said.

Raphael was leaning against the wall in the corner, trying to recover from his nightmare. Master Splinter was next to him, silently providing the paternal comfort the turtle needed.

"Master Splinter, may I talk to Raphael?" she asked, sitting in front of them.

"Of course, April." he said, not moving from his spot.

She glanced to the side awkwardly. "...Alone?"

The rat frowned, wondering what she had to tell his son that was so secret that she didn't even want him around. He trusted her, though, and he truly believed that she wouldn't say anything out of the ordinary to upset Raphael.

Raph gave the girl a confused look as she sat next to him, watching her take a deep breath.

"Raph...We're going back." She said.

He looked confused. "Going back? Back where?" He asked.

"To the lair. The old one."

The response was instantaneous. Raph turned a few shades paler, and he started to shake. April held out her hands in alarm, her eyes widening.

"Raph, calm down! It'll be okay, you're safe." She tried to reassure him.

The turtle was silent for a minute. "When?" He finally said, so low that April couldn't make it out.

"What?" She raised a brow.

"When?!" He repeated, a sharp edge to his tone.

"I'm not sure. I think Leo might-," Before she could finish, Raph had stood and walked away, presumably to find Leo. April sighed, hoping that she hadn't made things worse.


	14. Snapped

Raph didn't know what to think. They were going back! Back to the place where Raph had suffered, cried, screamed, and bled for so long. And no one even thought to ask him what he thought of that decision!

_'Probably because they knew what I would say,'_ Raph thought, snarling when Leo came into his sight.

Leo looked up when he saw Raph approaching, wincing internally at the furious look on his face. He held his hands up in surrender, hoping he could calm his brother down without violence.

"Now Raph, I know you're mad, but hear me out." Leo said.

"You're damn right I'm mad! What the hell made you think it was a good idea to go back?! What if Slash comes back, huh? Then what?" Raph yelled, his fists clenching automatically.

"It wasn't my idea! Master Splinter said it was the best place for us. Even if Slash decides to come back, we'll protect you!" Leo said, trying to stay calm. The stress from all that happened, plus the guilt at not being a better brother was weighing down on him. Raph yelling in his face was doing absolutely nothing to help the situation.

Raph narrowed his eyes. "I can protect myself! I don't need you to coddle me like I'm a fucking toddler!" he yelled.

"Oh really? Because you were doing _such _a good job protecting yourself when Slash kidnapped you twice!" Leo snapped back.

Raph stared at him in shock, before his eyes hardened and he lunged at Leo, tackling him to the ground while screaming in rage. His injuries protested loudly as he moved, almost making him dizzy, but he pushed through the haze with pure anger.

"Take it back!" Raph yelled.

"What is going on here?!" Master Splinter demanded as he hurried to see what the noise was, the rest of the family on his heels.

"Take it back, you bastard!" Raph said, swinging his fist at Leo's face.

"Raph, stop! Calm down!" It took Casey, Donnie, and Mikey to pull him off of Leo, and even then they had some trouble.

"Leonardo, what is the meaning of this?" Master Splinter demanded.

Leo looked guilty, nursing his cheek. "Raph confronted me about us going back to the old lair, and I...I said some things that I shouldn't have." he mumbled.

"What did you say?" When Leo just hunched his shoulders, Master Splinter repeated the question with more force. "What did you _say, _Leonardo?!"

"I-I told Raph that if Slash came back, that we would protect him. Raph said that he could protect himself, and I said that.." he took a deep breath, shame nearly choking him, "I mocked him, saying that he did a good job at protecting himself when Slash kidnapped him.

There was silence, from everyone. Donnie was glaring at Leo with a disapproving look on his face, while Mikey just shook his head in disappointment and focused his attention on Raph. April winced, feeling partly responsible for telling Raph in the first place.

"Not cool, Leo." Casey said coldly.

They left him there, nursing his cheek. Casey and Mikey did their best to distract Raph and cheer him up. Master Splinter, April, and Donnie went to forage for anything else they could use. Leo was left alone.

"Great. Just great." Leo said, sighing.

* * *

It was Leo's turn to help Raph when they went to gather supplies. Honestly, Leo had completely forgotten about it, until Mikey reminded him. They didn't want Raph to go by himself just yet, because of his injuries. They didn't want him to push himself too hard and make his injuries even worse than they already were. Also, if they were all honest, they had doubts that Slash was completely gone from their lives. It just seemed too easy, that he fell and that was it. So they all took turns going with him, just to make sure he's safe. Raph had complained about it for a while, but eventually stopped when he realized that no matter what he said, they weren't going to stop until they thought he could handle himself.

Before the brothers went out, Donnie pulled Leo aside.

"Don't be too hard on him. Raph's been through a lot, and you know it."

Those words reverberated in his skull as he foraged with Raph. Guilt had been creeping around in his mind for a while, and he couldn't take it anymore.

"Raph, about what I said..." Leo started.

"Drop it, Leo. I don't care." Raph said, but his cold voice gave him away. He did care. Leo's words had cut him deep, and he was hurt.

"Yes, you do care. I'm sorry, Raph, I had no reason to say that." Leo said quietly.

Raph was quiet for a minute, before he mumbled something that Leo didn't catch.

"What?" Leo asked, straining to hear.

"I said that I did defend myself. I didn't just lay there and let him do whatever he wanted to do to me." Raph said through clenched teeth.

Leo stared at him, not sure exactly how to react. The way he worded things, made it sound like...

"Raph," Leo whispered. "Did Slash...Did he..." Leo couldn't say it, feeling bile start to rise in his throat. Luckily, Raph seemed to get what he was going to say.

"No." Leo let out a large breath of air. "Good. I didn't mean that, Raph. Again, I'm so sorry."

Raph nodded. "It's okay. I know we've all been under stress." he said.

Leo had more he wanted to discuss, but he didn't want to push it. Raph was already opening up more than Leo ever thought he would, and he didn't want to ruin it by pushing his little brother for too much information.

"Let's head back. I think we got enough." Leo said, glancing at the stuff they had gathered. It was mostly junk, stuff that they could burn to keep warm as winter approached.

* * *

When night fell, Raph found he couldn't sleep. He stayed huddled near the fire, making sure it stayed high. He was so lost in thought that he didn't notice footsteps behind him, jumping when April sat next to him.

"Hey, Raph." she smiled.

"Hey." he replied.

"How are you feeling?" she asked, her eyes scanning his injuries.

Raph shrugged. "A bit better. My jaw is hurting less, and I can move my arm a bit." he said, laughing before he winced, clutching his ribs. "My ribs still hurt a bit, though."

April rubbed his carapace sympathetically. "I'm so glad we got you away from that monster." she said.

"Yeah." Raph said, giving her a smile that was so fake it was almost insulting.

"What's wrong?" she asked furrowing her brows.

"Nothing, April. Just forget it." he muttered, looking into the fire and hunching his shoulders.

"Oh no, I'm not going to 'forget it.' You can't tell me you miss him?!"

"No!" Raph exclaimed, standing.

She stood, too. "Then what's wrong?"

"I already said nothing. Leave it alone." he growled.

Her glare was enough to convince him that she was not going to leave it alone at all. She was going to keep pushing.

"Seriously, Raph! It seems like you miss him!" she said, not noticing her voice getting louder, not even when Mikey shifted.

"I don't!' Raph snapped back, his voice louder as he defended himself.

"Then what is it?!" she asked, full blown yelling now.

"HE WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO EVER TRIED TO LOVE ME, OKAY?!" Raph yelled at the top of his lungs, his voice echoing in the small space.

April looked confused, but he kept going before she could say anything or question him.

"Yeah, he hit me. He yelled at me. He made me feel like complete and utter shit! But every once and a while, he would hold me, and he would treated me like something to be loved. Not like a toy. No one has ever done that for me. He did. Yeah, it didn't happen all the time. But it still happened." Raph panted, having just gotten everything out in a big rush.

Neither of them noticed that everyone was awake, until Leo cleared his throat. Mortification dawned on Raph as his brothers, father, and Casey all stared at him with wide eyes. He felt like an animal trapped under their curious stares. So he did the only thing that came to his mind.

He ran.


	15. Run And Hide

Whoa. Just, whoa. Before we get this chapter started, I just want to say thank you for so much love on this story. I really appreciate it, and I was never expecting to get nearly 60 reviews! Seriously, you guys are awesome!

* * *

He fucked up. Raph had seriously fucked up. He couldn't help it, though! If April hadn't kept pushing him, trying to force out information that was better kept under wraps, then he wouldn't have had to yell. He had no idea where he was going, since he had usually been unconscious whenever they traveled this way, and the group wouldn't let him go more than twenty feet from their shelter in case he got hurt.

Raph had to stop, no matter how much his mind was screaming at him to run. His ribs were aching, and he felt worse with every breath he took.

"Damn it." he hissed, slumping against the wall and sliding down until he was sitting. "This is such bullshit."

He closed his eyes and tried to focus on relaxing and breathing normally in an attempt to ease some of the pain in his ribs. It wasn't really working, and as he shifted, he let out a short gasp as pain wracked him. He couldn't move. He could barely breathe. He was pretty much stuck for now unless someone came and found him.

"Well, I'm fucked." he gasped hoarsely.

* * *

"April, what did you say to him?" Casey demanded, glowering at the girl.

"Nothing! I just asked him if he was okay and what was bothering him!" she defended.

"More like demanded." Donnie said darkly, getting some shocked glances.

"I didn't mean to make him run off!" April cried.

"Well you did, and now we have to find him." Casey said.

"Then we better go." April said, eager to make up for causing so much trouble.

"We will split up. The more ground we can cover, the less time it will take to find Raphael." Master Splinter said.

"I just hope we find him before something bad happens to him." Leo said worriedly.

"Don't worry, guys! We'll find him in no time." Mikey said, trying to keep the group's spirits high.

"I hope so, Mikey. I hope so." Casey murmured.

The group split up, trying to cover a lot of ground. Leo and Mikey went west, Donnie and Casey went east, while April and Master Splinter went north. Donnie tried calling Raph's T-Phone, but either Raph refused to answer, or he couldn't answer for some reason. Donnie shuddered as he tried not to think that anything bad had happened to his brother.

* * *

Raph hadn't moved, not that he hadn't tried. He had tried to get up multiple times, in fact, but the pain in his ribs forced him back to the ground.

"Damn it! How am I supposed to get back to the others?" he hissed, though if he was being honest, he had no desire to face them after what he had blurted.

He checked his T-Phone, but it was a lost cause. He had broken the screen somehow, probably when he lunged at Leo earlier. His mind whirled as he closed his eyes, trying not to panic and think about what to do.

"Okay, I can do this." he breathed, using the wall for support as he tried to get to his feet. He wanted to scream at the pain, but he clenched his teeth against it and forced himself to take a step forward. Then another. One more. He kept moving, his steps slow and sluggish as he tried to keep a clear head through the mind numbing pain.

Raph made it a few more feet, but when he went to turn the corner, he accidentally bumped against the wall with his bruised ribs. He couldn't stop the scream that ripped from his throat as he crumpled to the ground.

* * *

Leo jumped as he heard the scream echo through the sewer. He glanced at Mikey, who had grown a few shades paler. No words were needed as they ran towards the sound, praying and hoping that they would get there in time and that they wouldn't have to face anything more than an irritated brother.

"Raph! Answer me!" Leo called, and he heard a low pained hiss in response, to his left around a corner. When he rounded the corner, he slid to a stop before he tripped over his crumpled brother.

"Raphael, can you hear me?" Leo asked, crouching next to him and putting a hand on his shoulder.

Raph shifted and opened his eyes slowly, staring up at them pitifully. Mikey approached slowly, seemingly afraid to face the pain his brother was going through.

"It doesn't look like he was attacked. He must've aggravated his injuries." Donnie said.

"Raph? Raph can you say anything?" Leo asked, his voice bordering panic.

"H...Hurt...Ribs..." Raph managed to say.

"We need to get him out of here." Mikey said.

"He obviously can't walk, so we're going to have to carry him." Donnie said quietly.

"But...won't that hurt him?" Leo asked.

"We don't have a choice, Leo." Donnie said, looking at the ground.

Mikey took a deep breath, and went to stand by Raph's head. "I'll get his shoulders." he said.

"I got his legs." Donnie replied.

"I'll support his middle." Leo forced his hands under Raph's carapace, trying to ignore his groans of pain as he did so.

"Raph, I know it hurts, bro. Just try to hang in there, man." Mikey said.

"One the count of three, we lift." Donnie said.

"One," Leo closed his eyes.

"Two," Mikey steeled his nerves.

"Three!" They lifted him. Raph bit his lip to hold in any cries of pain, and the brothers moved fast as they tried to make it back.

Master Splinter and the rest had already returned, since they had found nothing. When they saw the brothers coming with Raphael, they all ran to help. Master Splinter gently lifted Raph from the other's arms and laid him on a thin blanket they had. Casey checked him for a fever, while April helped calm Leo down, who looked on the verge of a panic attack.

"I'm scared, April." he whispered as he watched everyone fuss about. "Whatever Slash did to my little brother, it was way more than just physical." he murmured.

* * *

Okay, I know that this has taken forever, and the ending is kinda crappy, but I just wanted to get this one out. I hope to have the other one out soon. Thank you for all of your reviews, they mean so much to me!


	16. Awaken

"He should sleep for a while." Donnie said, staring at Raph's now peaceful face. Donnie wasn't sure what to think, what to do. Physical injuries, he can deal with, but this..was a whole different level. He never would have even expected that any of them would be in a relationship, let alone be abused. And he never believed that it would be Raph. He just didn't know what exactly to do. He had obviously never had to deal with this before.

"Donnie...? Are you okay?" Mikey asked quietly.

Donnie shot him a dark look. "Of course I'm not okay, Mikey! My big brother is lying here bruised and broken in more ways than one! How could I possibly be okay?!" He snapped.

Mikey's eyes hardened. "You think we don't feel that? Do you think that I want to see my brother this way? Huh? Do you?!" He screamed.

Donnie jumped. He wasn't used to Mikey being so upset. This mess was affecting all of them, and Donnie wasn't helping by being a prick.

"No, I don't. I'm sorry, Mikey. I'm just...I don't know what to do." Donnie's voice cracked as he sat by Raph's side and put his head in his hands.

"We're doing all we can, dude." Mikey said, putting a hand on his shoulder. "We can be there for me, but ultimately, it's Raph's choice on whether he heals or stays broken."

Donnie sat silently, the words turning over in his mind. They were brutal, but they were the truth. Raph would have to save himself. All they could do was cheer him on.

* * *

Raph was dreaming. He was dreaming of good times, which was unusual for him. He hadn't had a nice dream in so long, he was almost afraid to encourage the good one, fearing that it would turn into something insidious and dreadful.

He was patrolling with his brothers. No Slash, no bruises, no fear. Just open air and fun. They were all laughing, and Raph remembered the feeling of being free, something he had thought he lost a long time ago. For some reason, the night seemed somewhat familiar. Raph couldn't put his finger on it, but he somehow knew this was a memory in his mind, not a dream like he thought at first.

There was no trouble, the night silent. Raph had been disappointed, but they all agreed to go home and relax. They had been walking the familiar route home when they heard it. A low, pained groan. That's when it clicked for Raph. This was the night that they had found Slash. Raph was powerless as he watched the past unfold.

"Guys, do you hear that?" Donnie asked.

"Hear what?" Leo asked, then the sound came again, louder than before.

"That."

"Dudes, maybe it's someone in danger! We have to help them!" Mikey said.

"Whoa, Mikey. This could be a trap, for all we know." Raph replied, crossing his arms.

"But what if it's not? It could be someone who needs help." Mikey protested.

"We'll check it out, but be careful guys." Leo said, and they turned left, where the noise was coming from.

"Hello? Can you hear us?" Donnie called.

A low groan was the reply. The turtles slowly crept forward, into the pitch darkness. They used their T-Phones to light the way. All of a sudden, Mikey tripped over what seemed like a large, dark blue mass. They all froze when the mass shifted, another groan sounding from barely two feet in front of them.

"It's...It's another turtle!" Donnie gasped as their phone lights illuminated the large figure.

"What happened to you? Can you tell us your name?" Leo asked.

The giant turtle turning to face them fully. He had piercing green eyes that burned with a vengeance.

"Slash."

* * *

Raph awoke, a sick taste in the back of his throat. He wasn't sure what had brought that memory on, but he hated it. They should have kept moving. They should have left well enough alone. If they had, then none of this wouldn't be happening. His brothers, father and friends wouldn't have to care for him like a toddler. He would be able to walk and move in general without screaming in pain, or something close to it. Donnie wouldn't be sitting next to him, looking ready to break down while Mikey comforted him..

"Donnie..." he mumbled, and his younger brother's head snapped up.

"Raph! Thank God, you're awake!" Donnie sniffed. Mikey had run off to get the others.

"So what's the damage?" Raph asked.

"Nothing important, but you probably delayed your healing process by a few days at the least." Donnie wiped his eyes, trying to pull himself together.

Raph frowned as he watched his brother struggle. "I'm sorry I ran off, Donnie. It was stupid."

"Yes, it was. But it wasn't all your fault. April shouldn't have said that." Donnie growled slightly.

"Don't be too hard on her. We're all a bit stressed here." Raph was surprised that Donnie was angry enough to be upset with April; that was something you didn't see everyday.

Donnie looked at him weirdly. "You must have seriously hit your head if you want us to go _easy _on someone." He gave a slight chuckle.

"Yeah, well don't get used to it." Raph smirked. He looked over at Mikey, who hadn't said anything.

"Mikey...?" Raph asked tentatively.

Mikey's looked up suddenly, his eyes red and rimmed with tears. Raph recoiled I'm shock as Mikey started to yell.

"How could you?! How could you run off like that?!"

"M-Mikey, I'm not hurt..." Raph tried to console him.

"I don't care! I don't fucking care, okay?! We didn't know if we would be able to find you!" Mikey broke down into sobs.

Raph was silent, shocked and unsure of how to make it better. He was the big brother, but he had no idea how.

"Promise me you won't do that again." Mikey sniffled.

"I promise" Raph said immediately, hoping it would make Mikey calm down a little.

Luckily it did, and Mikey managed to pull himself together after a bit.

"I'll go tell the others you're awake."


	17. Wishes and Wants

"He's awake!" Mikey exclaimed.

"Really?" Casey replied, his eyes lighting up.

Without waiting for an answer, he ran past Mikey to the secluded area where Donnie was keeping Raph, everyone else close behind. Raph looked up and smiled when his friend came into view.

"Hey, Casey. You miss me?" Raph's eyes widened when Casey hugged him tightly, though mindful of his injuries.

"Case...?" Raph murmured uncertainly, patting his friend's back with on hand.

"We were so worried." Casey stated, tightening his arms around Raph.

"I know. I'm sorry." Raph closed his eyes and rested his forehead on Casey's shoulder. "I'm here, though. I'm okay."

Casey pulled away after a moment, wiping his face. "Don't do that again." he ordered.

Raph smirked. "Yes, general."

"Raph." He tensed when April approached him.

"Yeah?" he asked warily.

"I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have pushed you like that." She said, looking at the ground.

Raph managed a smile. "Hey, it's alright. You didn't know."

"I am glad you are awake, my son." Master Splinter said, his voice tinged with relief.

"I hate to bring this up, but we need to get back home soon. I heard that they're planning to start construction up above, and the last thing we need is to be spotted, especially now." Leo said.

It got quiet as everyone turned to face Raph. His face was a mixture of trepidation and dread. When he noticed everyone was looking at him, he pt in a brave face. "Well, what are we waiting for? Let's go!"

"Raph, you just woke up not even 15 minutes ago. Try to get some more rest before you get up." Donnie requested.

Raph groaned. "Are you serious?"

Donnie shot him a look that said that he was indeed serious, and Raph groaned again.

"If it seems you can make it tomorrow, we'll go. But until then, we're not going anywhere."

Raph sighed, nodding. He knew there was no swaying Donnie on this. "Fine." he huffed.

"Good. Now try to go back to sleep." Donnie instructed.

Raph shifted to get comfortable and closed his eyes. He could still sense his family watching him, and it made him slightly uncomfortable. It reminded him of the way Slash would stare at him, his eyes always full ff either lust or malice. Sometimes both. Even though he only felt warmth and love form those around him, he still hated the feeling of being watched.

"Uh, guys? A little privacy?" he asked, looking mightily uncomfortable.

"Oh, yeah sure." Donnie stood, ushering everyone else. Casey looked ready to protest, but Raph caught his eye and gave him a pleading look.

"Go, man. I'll be fine." Raph said softly.

Casey didn't look so sure, but he relented, leaving the area so Raph could rest peacefully.

With everyone gone, Raph closed his eyes so he could rest peacefully.

"It's good to be home." he mumbled, before drifting off to sleep.

* * *

"Guys, that can't happen again." Mikey said.

"I know, we just have to try and be careful to not provoke him. If he runs off like that again, he could get hurt, or worse." Leo shuddered.

"He needs to stay relatively stable so he can heal completely. If he keeps prolonging the healing process, he could do some real damage." Donnie said, worriedly.

"Then how long are we gonna wait until we try to go?" Mikey asked.

"We can try to make it in about 3 days, but we need to go slowly. I mean, _slowly._" Donnie emphasized.

A sound of agreement echoed throughout the group.

"I'm going to go check on him." Donnie said, walking back to Raph and away from the others.

Donnie waited until the rest of the group was out of earshot, before he burst into silent sobs, clasping a hand over his mouth to try and be discreet. He had held it in for so long, but now he just couldn't do it anymore. He collapsed on his knees next to Raph, who hadn't even twitched at his presence. Donnie's chest heaved as he gasped for air, trying to pull himself together as tears clouded his vision. Everything that had happened. All that Slash had done, not only to Raph but to the Hamato family period. It was heartbreaking, and Donnie couldn't take it anymore. He just wanted things the way they were before.

He wanted everything to be normal before.


	18. We Need To Be There

Donnie sat there for the longest time as he tried and failed to pull himself together. Every time he thought he would be okay, he looked up to see his sleeping brother and broke down all over again.

"It's not fair..." he hiccupped. Donnie jumped when he felt a heavy hand on his shoulder. His head snapped up to see that Leo was standing next to him, his face twisted in concern.

"Donnie, talk to me. What are you thinking?" Leo asked quietly.

Donnie was silent, even as Leo sat next to him and pulled the teenage genius into his lap.

"Donnie, please." Leo pleaded.

Donnie took a deep breath as he tried to come up with the words that he wanted to say. He took a deep breath and opened his mouth. Nothing came out the first time, so he cleared his throat and tried again.

"All our lives, we've never had things fair. I never thought of it that way. I never cared that we may have gotten the short end of the stick. I never cared that we would never be able to go up to the surface. I never cared that I would never be able to share my science and technology with the people above. I never cared that we would always be freaks, destined to be hated and cast away from society. I never cared." Donnie took a deep breath, but Leo stayed silent because he knew that Donnie wasn't done.

"But this," Donnie's voice started to quiver as he shook in Leo's arms, "This is something that I can't look beyond. This never should have happened! Raph should have been loved and happy, not beaten and bruised like some kind of child's plaything!" Leo stayed calm as Donnie began to beat his hands on his older brother's plastron.

"It isn't fair, Leonardo! It's not fair!" Donnie sobbed, burying his face in Leo's shoulder.

Leo picked Donnie up and carried him out of the lab so that his sobs wouldn't wake Raph up. April started to approach, but Leo just shook his head and she backed away. Donnie needed to rest, and while Leo had nothing against April, he had a feeling that it would be best if Donnie got some rest instead of being questioned and coddled.

He carried Donnie to his own sleeping place since Donnie's was too far away. Donnie refused to let go of his grip around Leo's neck, and it took a lot of gentle coaxing and patience to finally get Donnie to let go of him and relax.

"Donnie, get some rest." Leo said gently, removing his little brother's mask.

"But, I have to make sure that Raph's okay." Donnie protested weakly.

"We'll look out for him. Me, Mikey, Casey, all of us will be looking after him. All you need to do is get some rest just in case, God forbid, something happens and you need to be there."

Fear gripped Donnie's heart as he processed Leo's words, but deep down he knew he was right. He would be of no help if he could barely stay awake.

"When you wake up, come find me and we'll look after Raph together, okay?" Leo murmured, smiling at Donnie's hesitant nod.

"Good. Rest now." Leo stood and walked away, leaving Donnie to his slumber.

It took Donnie a while to fall asleep, as he couldn't seem to calm himself down. There was just do much going through his mind for him to concentrate on falling asleep.

"Hey, D. Leo told me that you might have some trouble sleeping, so I came in to make sure you get some rest!" Mikey smiled, but Donnie noticed that even Mikey couldn't pull of the ray of sunshine look he usually had. There was a darkness to his gave, a frown in his eyes, and it almost made Donnie want to break down again.

"I'm fine, Mikey. I'm just thinking." Donnie said quietly.

"You're not supposed to be thinking, Donnie." Mikey said, rubbing his carapace.

Donnie closed his eyes at the action, feeling himself slowly start to relax.

"He'll be okay, D. He'll be okay." Were the last words Donnie heard from Mikey before he drifted off.

When Donnie woke up, there was no noise around him. He assumed everyone was asleep, and he stood to go check on Raph. He took a deep breath to steel himself, before he faced his brother. What he saw made his spirits lift, ever so slightly.

Raph was still asleep, but Casey had moved next to him, presumably when Donnie was sleeping. Casey looked up when Donnie approached, and the turtle noticed that Casey looked even worse than he did.

"Donnie, you're supposed to be resting." Casey said quietly, offering a small smile.

Donnie shrugged, sitting next to the boy. "I know."

Casey wanted to say more, but he could tell by the way Donnie's shoulders were tense and the way his feet were grounded that he wasn't planning on going anywhere, and there was nothing Casey could do to make him.

"How are you holding up?" Donnie asked.

Casey took a deep breath. "I don't know, man. I'm happy Raph okay, more or less. But I'm upset that what happened...it's gonna stay with him for a while. It's not-"

"Fair?" Donnie cut in, and Casey nodded.

"Yeah, not fair at all." Casey's voice cracked slightly.

Donnie put a hand on his shoulder and met his eyes. "Just keep in mind that we will all be here for him. You, me and everyone else. Nothing else is gonna happen to Raph, and soon he'll be...he'll be better." Donnie wanted to say that Raph would be back to normal, but that simply wasn't plausible. What Slash did to him was more than a few days, months, or even years passing by will fix.

"We just have to be there and help him along in whatever way we can."

After that, the two boys fell into silence, lost in their own thoughts as they waited for Raph to wake up.


	19. We Can Start Anew

Raph woke up a few hours later, feeling extremely well rested. He was still kind of sore, but not nearly as much as he was when he went to sleep. He was alone, he noticed, and he was hungry. He sat up slowly and shuffled out of the secluded area where Donnie had him resting.

"Anyone here?" he asked.

The rest of the group was standing around, conversations all muffled whispers and worried glances. The conversations stopped immediately as Raph walked into the room. Raph shifted awkwardly as everyone stared at him.

"Hello? Anyone there?" he chuckled nervously, and fortunately that seemed enough to snap them out of their reverie.

"My son, how are you feeling?" Master Splinter asked.

"Pretty good, Master Splinter." Raph replied, smiling.

"You actually woke up just in time. Today's the day we were planing on going back to the old lair. We were going to carry you." Donnie chuckled.

Raph nodded slowly, processing this information in a detached fashion.

"...Is that okay? We can wait a while longer if you want, Raph." Donnie said.

"No, I'm cool. We need to get back." Raph replied.

"If you say so. Just make sure you don't overexert yourself." Leo said.

"Yeah, yeah, I get the point." he chuckled.

The group used the last of their money to buy a pizza, and after they ate they decided to head off.

"They're supposed to start construction tonight, so we best get going now." Donnie had said.

They moved a a pretty moderate pace, stopping frequently when Donnie insisted on checking Raph's injuries. After the fifth time Raph was starting to get a bit irritated, but he tried to keep it in. After the tenth time, he was visibly rolling his eyes. By the 25th time, he had had enough.

"Donnie! I am fine, for Pete's sake! I'm not going to break, so can you stop checking me over every five minutes so we can get home already?!" he snapped.

"Raphael! Your brother is trying to make sure you're okay. You should be grateful." Master Splinter scolded.

Raph groaned in annoyance. "That's just it! I've told him time and time again that I'm fine! Just because I got a little bruised-"

"A little bruised?!" Casey cut in. "Dude you were almost killed! How can you say that like it's no big deal?"

"Because it is no big deal. I'm fine, I'm alive. End of story." Raph growled.

"Your panic attacks and nightmares indicate otherwise." Leo said, crossing his arms.

Raph threw his arms up in the air our of exasperation. "So what?"

"STOP IT!" Everyone jumped and turned to Mikey, who had been silent up until now.

"Mikey-" April tried, but he was having none of it.

"Raph, you need to stop trying to bear your own problems on your shoulders and let us help you for once! You can't handle this by yourself, and it doesn't mean you're weak, it means that you need help! So let us help you, damnit!"

Mikey turned to the rest of the group. "On the other hand, all of you need to stop pushing Raph to open up! He will when he's ready and not a moment sooner. Pushing him and treating him like he's made of glass will only make the process longer. Now can we all just stop fighting and go home?"

Silence met his question, and the group started moving again. This time though, no one said a word.

It took them nearly a day to arrive at the old lair, and everyone was exhausted by the time they got there from dodging construction workers, jumping over holes in the ground, and ducking under pipes. It was like a jungle gym from Hell.

"Finally, home sweet home." Donnie breathed, collapsing on what was left of the couch.

"We will start to clean up our home tomorrow." Master Splinter said, retreating to his room, which was luckily still mostly intact, even though the door was almost ripped from the hinges.

Raph approached his door, but before he could grab his handle, a wave of fear washed over him. What if Slash was in here, waiting to try and kidnap him like he did before? Deep down, Raph know it was impossible because either Master Splinter would've heard or smelt him, or April would've sensed him. That didn't stop the fear, though. Raph started to hyperventilate as terror invaded his mind, and when he felt a hand on his shoulder, he jumped and screamed as loud as he could. He fell to the floor, pulling his legs to his chest and using his arms to block his face.

"Raph?" He slowly uncovered his face to see Casey staring down at him, Mikey and Donnie behind him. Leo and April ran up a few minutes later.

"What happened?" Leo asked frantically, approaching Raph, only to step back when Raph screamed again.

"I think going to his room is triggering some violent memories, which are probably causing his current state." Donnie said.

"Well, how do we help?" April asked.

"I think all we can do is wait. Sometimes saying things will make it worse, so we just need to monitor him until he seems relaxed."

That took about 30 minutes, and at that time Raph could stand, but he wouldn't let anyone come too close, or touch him. If they did, he would scream, and keep screaming until they backed away.

Eventually it seemed to wear him out, and he started to relax as he grew tired.

"Raph, bro, come on. The couch is waitin' for ya." Mikey said, pulling Raph to his feet. Thankfully, there was no screaming, just a shudder.

"Donnie, what was that?" April asked when they were out of earshot.

"It's Raph suffering from what that asshole did." Casey said darkly, cutting off Donnie's explanation.

"Casey, I know that you and Raph are close, but getting mad, especially right now, will only scare him. Trust me." Donnie said, thinking back to the time when Leo started yelling at breakfast and Raph nearly had a heart attack.

Casey took a deep breath. "You're right. Getting mad isn't gonna help here."

April and Donnie shared a glance, finding it highly amusing that this was coming from one of the two hotheads.

"Let's get some sleep and then in the morning we can clean." Leo said, having just helped Raph get to sleep.

"Yeah." Casey ended up sleeping on the floor in front of the couch where he could keep an eye on Raph unless he had anymore nightmares.

"Goodnight, buddy." Casey murmured, before drifting off to sleep.


	20. Let Us Help You

The next morning, Casey was the first one waking up. For some reason, he felt that something was wrong. He sat up groggily and yawned, stretching his arms above his head and looking around the room. He took in the smashed tv, the destroyed living room, the others sleeping, the empty couch laying back down on the floor and closing his eyes again to go back to sleep.

Wait, _what?!_

Casey's eyes flew back open and he shot up, his head swiveling over to the couch again. The empty couch. He scrambled over to Leo, who was sleeping a few feet away.

"Leo, Raph's gone!" Casey exclaimed, shaking the oldest brother until he awoke.

"What?! What do you mean he's gone?" Leo replied, jumping to his feet.

"Who's gone?" April asked groggily, sitting up and rubbing her eyes.

"Raph!" Leo replied, while Casey went into the lab where Donnie was sleeping to wake him up. Which he did by shoving him roughly out of his cot.

"Ow! Jones, what the hell?!" Donnie shouted, glaring up at the boy.

"Raph's gone!" Casey yelled, feeling only slightly guilty for waking him up so rudely.

"Oh shit." Donnie paled, and a few seconds later they heard Mikey starting to freak out, apparently having just found out the news.

The two teens ran into the living room where everyone was gathered, including Master Splinter.

"Where could he have gone now?" Mikey whimpered, glancing from side to side fearfully.

"Don't worry, Mikey. I'm sure he couldn't have gone far." Leo reassured, but his eyes were full of doubt at his own words.

"You must find him and bring him back. April will stay here with me in case Raphael returns. The rest of you must make haste." Master Splinter said.

"Hai, sensei." Donnie, Mikey and Leo said, while Casey just nodded his affirmation.

"Donnie, you go east. Mikey, west. I'll head north, and Casey, head south." Leo said, and with that they broke off and headed in their designated direction.

* * *

Raph was not sure exactly where he was going. He wasn't going far, of course - he wasn't stupid. He was injured, like it or not, but just because he was hurt doesn't mean he was going to stay locked up in the lair.

He hadn't even been planning to leave. He had woken up during the night to use the restroom when he felt like he couldn't breathe all of a sudden. He thought he was going to throw up, but the closer he got to the bathroom, the tighter his chest felt. He went into full panic mode, running towards the exit and into the sewer. He eventually had to stop and breathe, his ribs aching and his knees burning. His mind was plagued with memories of him cowering behind his family, like a coward who couldn't even stand up for himself with his family by his side.

"Coward." he hissed, punching the wall with his good arm.

"Pathetic." he said again, sinking to the ground and squeezing his eyes tightly shut.

"Disgusting."

"Worthless."

"Nothing."

These insults and many more floated around in Raph's skull, tormenting him and making him want to scream. But he knew that screaming would only cause more taunting, more voices, so he sat there silently, trying not to break down completely.

"LEAVE ME ALONE!" he finally shouted, his voice echoing off of the cold, damp walls.

* * *

"LEAVE ME ALONE!"

Casey jumped, hearing a familiar voice crying out in anguish nearby. He picked up his pace, sprinting to find his friend and praying that he wasn't in danger.

"Raph!" Casey exclaimed, relieved to find that his friend was alone, no Slash in sight - until he saw the state Raph was in.

The emerald turtle was rocking back and forth, tears building up in his eyes and slowly starting to spill over. He was muttering something, and Casey's heart dropped into his stomach as he started to make it out.

"My fault. Worthless. My fault. Disgusting. My fault. All my fault..." He kept chanting it, over and over as he rocked.

"Raph, dude we were looking everywhere for you." Casey's words are cautious, and he approaches him with slow, deliberate footsteps.

"My fault. My fault. My fault." Raph murmured, not seeming to notice Casey there.

"Hey, hey it's not your fault." Casey said, reaching out to place a hand on Raph's shoulder.

Not the best idea, considering.

Raph jumped up, wincing as his legs burned. He stared at Casey with a hardened gaze, his stance defensive as if facing an enemy.

"Leave me alone, Casey." he growled.

"Are you serious, Raph?! You go AWOL before we all wake up, cause us to have a panic attack, and now that I find you, you're gonna try to blow me off? No way, not happening!" Casey replied firmly. "Just come back home so we can help-"

"I don't need your help!" Raph cuts him off, his voice sharp.

"Yeah, and that's why you're sitting here on the verge of a total break down. Raph, no one thinks any lesser of you because you need help. You went through a lot and you need to recover and recovery can require help. But we can't help if you don't let us."

Raph looked away, but it was obvious that the boy's words reached him by the slump in his shoulders and the deep sigh he heaved.

"Come on. Let's go home." Casey coaxed, but Raph tensed again. "Or we can walk around the sewers for a bit. Either way, I'm not leaving you."

Raph sighed and nodded. "I don't want to go home yet."

Casey nodded and they started walking in the opposite direction of home, but Casey made sure they avoided any place that even a remnant of Slash.

"You gave us quite a scare. You should've seen Leo's face." Casey chuckled, trying to cheer him up. It didn't work, as Raph winced guiltily and looked at the ground. Casey winced and decided not to say anything more, staring at the ground as he got lost in thought.

After a while, Casey felt his stomach growl and he realized that if he was hungry, then Raph surely must be. But when he looked over, the turtle wasn't there. Casey whirled around, ready to panic. But he calmed when he saw Raph standing a few feet behind him, staring up at a sewer grate at the people walking.

"What's wrong, Raph?" Casey asked, standing next to him and looking up to see if there was anything extraordinary to see. All he could see was sunlight and human feet walking back and forth.

"They're so lucky." Raph murmured, sitting down in the beam of sunlight.

"Who?" Casey asked, sitting next to him.

"The humans. They have no idea how lucky they are."

"What do you mean?"

"Say something goes wrong in their lives, with another person, they have options. They can move on, find someone new. I don't have that option."

So that's what this was about.

"I never thought that we'd be able to have a normal life. I never thought that we'd be able to...you know, actually be with somebody. I was lucky enough to get that chance, and now..." Raph looked down, "I'll probably never get it again."

Casey was silent for a moment, his heart aching for the poor turtle.

"Look Raph..." He took a deep breath to gather his courage. "I know that your first relationship was utter shit. But that doesn't mean you should give up. Just...keep holding out hope, okay?" he asked.

"What for?" Raph murmured, looking hopeless.

"Just promise me." Casey pleaded.

After an agonizingly long moment, Raph nodded. "I promise." he said.

"Good. Are you ready to head back?" he asked, standing and holding out a hand.

Raph looked up at him for a moment, his eyes wide with sadness and a small spark of hope. He slowly reached out and grabbed Casey's hand, allowing himself to be pulled up.

"Yeah. Let's go home."


	21. Forced to Heal

Raph was swarmed with concerns, scoldings, and reprimands when he got home. Donnie insisted on doing a thorough check of Raph's mostly healed injuries, much to his chagrin.

"Alright, for the hundredth time, I'm _fine_!" Raph snapped.

"Don't get mad at me because you ran off! If you had stayed put, or at least taken someone with you, we wouldn't be doing this. What were you thinking, anyway?!" Raph looked away then, not willing to answer that question. Donnie noticed this change in attitude and softened slightly, putting a gentle hand on his shoulder.

"Raph, we just want to make sure you're safe. You've been through a lot, and we have as well, so all I'm asking is for you to do us all a favor and let us help you. Please." Donnie didn't expect an answer, and Raph didn't give one.

"You look fine, so you should probably get something to eat." Donnie recommended, and Raph got down from the table mumbling an 'I told you so.'

Raph walked into the kitchen where Leo and Mikey were sitting. Their conversation abruptly ceased when he walked in, and Raph grit his teeth before reaching for the cereal. He waited for them to say something, but when they didn't he grew even more agitated and spoke up.

"Don't stop on my account." he snapped.

His harsh words seemed to snap Leo out of his silent spell, and he quickly stood up.

"R-Raph, we didn't expect you to be done with Donnie so fast." he said meekly. "What did he say?"

"He said that I'm fine." Raph mumbled.

"Are you, though?" Mikey asked worriedly.

"Didn't you hear me? Donnie said-"

"I'm not asking what Donnie said. I'm asking you, Raph. Are you okay?" Mikey repeated.

"I'm _fine, _Mikey. Let it go."

Mikey opened his mouth to say something, but Leo shook his head quickly. It'd be best to leave it alone. Raph would come to them if he needed them. He hoped. The youngest sighed and slumped back into his seat, silence reigning over the family.

"Morning!" April yawned, walking into the kitchen. She noticed the tension, but decided it was best not to acknowledge it for fear of starting a war.

"Morning, April."

"Wassup?"

"Hey."

April sighed at the tension in the boy's voices. "Raph, I got something for you that I had given to Master Splinter to hold until your birthday. I completely forgot about it until now."

Raph raised an eyebrow. "My birthday isn't for another month, April. You don't have to give it to me now." he pointed out.

"Yeah, well I'm going to anyway. Not now, though. Later."

Raph tilted his head. "Well, what is it?"

April laughed. "I'm not going to tell you, silly!"

Raph huffed and pouted, making the atmosphere lighter as everyone else sniggered in response. They all knew what his gift was, but Raph knew from years of experience that none of them would budge, not even Mikey. He never threatened them though, because he knew it wasn't that serious.

Raph sat at the table and conversed with his family, his mood considerably lighter.

Donnie, Master Splinter, and Casey soon joined them in the kitchen where they all ended up laughing uproariously about stories passed around the table.

"I haven't laughed that hard in a while." Raph breathed, his chest heaving as he wiped his eye.

"We noticed." Mikey said softly, and Raph frowned a bit guiltily, jumping when Casey wrapped his arm around his shoulders.

"Don't worry, Raph! We'll get ya grinning like Mikey on gummy bears soon." Casey said, smirking when he heard Raph laugh softly.

"I'd like to see that happen, Jones." Raph replied, an identical smirk on his lips.

Casey blushed and pulled away,trying to cover his awkwardness by taking his bowl to the sink and rinsing it out. It didn't work because he heard the some snickers behind him.

"Raph, there was something else I wanted to talk about with you." Leo said, and Raph raised an eyebrow.

"Really? What, am I in trouble?"

Leo chuckled and shook his head. "No. I just wanted to know if you wanted to start up training again when you get completely well."

Raph paused, then shrugged. "I-I don't know, man. I don't think I ca-"

"Don't you dare say that!" Donnie snapped. "You sure as hell can do it, and everything you used to do!"

Raph gulped, not used to his family being so demanding.

"Look, I'll think about it, okay?" he murmured, and Donnie backed off.

"Sure, take your time." Leo said just as softly, making a mental note to talk to the family about blowing up at or around Raph. It seemed to be one of his triggers, so to speak.

The rest of breakfast was spent in silence, and the boys kept cleaning the lair, making sure everything was back where it belonged.

"Raph, do you want to try and go into your room again?" April asked gently.

The teen tensed up, and swallowed hard. "Y-Yeah." he said.

"You don't have to, you know!" April exclaimed quickly, shaking her hand.

"No, you're right. I need to get over this fear and get on with my life."

If only it was that easy.

* * *

Okay I know this is short, but I really wanted to get this out. The next chapter will cover Raph trying to regain his normal life and his self worth. I know it doesn't seem like it, but this story is about halfway over, guys. Can you believe it? Thanks for reading, please review, and I'll be back again!


	22. Taste Of Normalcy With An Airplane Wish

"Do you want us to come with you?" Donnie asked gently, not wanting to offend Raph.

"No, I need to do this on my own." Raph replied, shaking his head and getting to his feet.

The hallway to Raph's room seemed to be endless, when in reality it was only a few feet. He could do this, he could do this. He **would** do this. Raph had spent too long under the control of someone else, and he refused to keep living in fear all his life.

That said, it didn't stop the slight tremor in his step, or the small shake in his hand as he reached for the doorknob. What if Slash had somehow gotten in here and was waiting for Raph, ready to snatch him up and beat him or-

Raph shook his head free of those thoughts. It wasn't true. Slash wasn't in there, and no one was going to hurt him. Not with his brothers and family there. And even if they weren't Raph was going to fend for himself for once. With a deep breath, he pushed the door open with a swift gesture.

It was...normal. Everything was pretty much the same. His drum set, his unmade bed, even his comics seemed to be untouched. What bothered him was them smell. Since no one had been here in so long, the air hadn't been allowed to circulate, and Raph could still smell the blood and tears that had been spilled in this room. He left the door open as he exited, not able to stay in there for too long for fear of another panic attack.

All the conversation stopped though when Raph walked back into the living room, and he grit his teeth in agitation. How was anything supposed to go back to normal when everyone tiptoed on fucking eggshells around him?!

"Will you stop doing that?!" He snapped.

"W-What do you mean?" Donnie asked, glancing away from his brother in a guilty fashion.

"You all know exactly what I mean! Whenever I walk into a room you stop and watch me like you're expecting me to drop and have a panic attack! Well, I'm telling you right now; that ain't gonna to happen. You want me to heal? Then stop treating me like I'm broken."

Silence followed his words, and Raph could feel a vein throb in his forehead. Before he could go off into another tangent and most likely bust said vein in his forehead, Casey spoke up, smiling that familiar cocky grin of his.

"Come on, Raph. Let's go bust some heads and get some fresh air." He said, wrapping an arm around Raph's shoulders.

"What, don't think I can take care of myself?" Raph growled, but everyone could see the tension in his body start to give ever so slightly.

Casey shook his head. "No, man. You said you want things to go back to normal, right? It's Friday night, and we usually go bash some heads around this time! So let's go, dude!"

Raph smiled and nodded, pulling his sai from his belt and spinning them expertly. "Let's do it!"

Leo opened his mouth to give him a lecture about the dangers of going out this early when he still may be hurt, but Casey shot him a look over Raph's head that made him snap his mouth shut. The last thing Raph needed was stress and a lecture, even though it was one of the most normal things to happen in the lair.

The boys left, and silence followed their exit.

"I think we should clean." April suddenly said, making everyone look at her in confusion.

"Excuse me?" Donnie asked, crossing his arms. They had just finished cleaning the lair, what more was there?

"I mean, clean Raph's room. You know, so it doesn't smell or remind him of Slash anymore." She suggested, but Master Splinter shook his head.

"That would not be a good idea. Raphael needs to heal on his own, which includes ridding his room of bad memories. If he asks up for help then we shall give it, but doing it for him now without his permission would be the equivalent of coddling him and delaying his healing." The rat master explained patiently.

April frowned but didn't argue, even though she felt useless. She wished she could just take away all of Raph's pain and turn him back into the hotheaded, loyal, protective turtle they all knew, with a brighter smile and less scars. But that kind of magic only existed in fairy tales, and this was real.

Frustratingly real.

* * *

"Wanna wish on an airplane?" Raph paused, looking over at his human friend in confusion.

They had stuck to petty thieves and creeps that weren't armed with anything more than a knife, if that. Raph wasn't happy about it, but he wasn't stupid. The last thing he wanted to so was worry his brothers even more after everything they had been through while they handled him and all of his drama.

"Airplanes, Jones? Have you been listening to that annoying pop song again?"

"No!" At Raph's look, Casey averted his eyes and said, "...That's not the point, Raph! It's too cloudy to see any actual stars, so let's find an airplane and get wishing!"

Raph scoffed and rolled his eyes, about to refuse when Casey spoke up a second later. "Don't you think we could use a wish after everything that's happened?"

The turtle froze, opening his eyes and locking gazes with the human. He had no idea what to say to that, and it was evident in his eyes. Where had that come from? Wherever it came from, Raph wasn't comfortable with it. He came out here to forget about what happened, not dive back into a sea of memories and sorrow.

But Casey's look wasn't pleading, it was determined. Even if Raph said no, Casey would keep bugging him until he said yes or either knocked him out cold. Then he'd ask again once he woke up.

So with a loud sigh, he nodded and said grudgingly, "Fine, Jones. Let's go find a stupid airplane."

He fought back a smile at Casey's triumphant whoop, following the boy as he jumped from roof to roof to try and find an actual airplane to wish on. They finally found one that was just about to pass over their heads, and Casey grabbed Raph's arm in excitement.

"Dude, hurry up and wish for something!" He said, grinning.

Raph rolled his eyes, then closed them and made a simple wish with an identical grin on his face. When he opened his eyes, he noticed that Casey was smiling fondly down at him, giving the turtle an odd feeling that he didn't want to dwell on.

"What'd you wish for?" Casey asked curiously.

"Don't you know anything about wishes? Tell them, and they won't come true!" Raph shoved him playfully, smirking at the boy's joyful cackle.

"Come on, Raph. Let's head back before Leo has an aneurysm."

Raph blinked. "Did you just use a big word?" He said in a mocking tone, making Casey glare and shove him.

"Shut up, I've been studying for English, alright?"

Raph just laughed as they headed home, his wish reverberating in his mind.

_'I wish that I can heal with my family and friends.'_


	23. Thank You (Not A Chapter)

Guys...this is it. I forgot to put a note at the end of the last chapter, but that was it. The story's over. Yes, it's open-ended, but I wanted it that way. Thanks to everyone who stuck around until the end, and I can't wait to see you on the next adventure. There _might _be a prequel, where I touch on how Spike and Raph got together in the first place, but that isn't a promise. I have over story ideas in mind, so I hope you will all enjoy them as much as you did this story.

I love you all,

WritersNook


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